


And put a foot out for me

by Greyneurosis (Spylace)



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Transformation, Chuck Lives, Communication Failure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Alive, Except everyone else, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nobody is Dead, Oops, amirite?, and a dose of, kangaroos everywhere, preslash, she said he said, that's the important thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:19:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1741100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spylace/pseuds/Greyneurosis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took a while for it to sink in.</p><p>The war was over. The kaiju were gone and hallelujah—they won.</p><p>Raleigh had never had the best timing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And put a foot out for me

It took a while for it to sink in.

The war was over. The kaiju were gone and _hallelujah_ —they won.

Raleigh had never had the best timing.

Mako raised a thick eyebrow when he failed to get up, the touch of her wooden bo electrifying against his ankle. He jumped to his feet, racking his brain for excuses as he stumbled backwards. _Daijoubuka Raleigh_? She asked. But he couldn’t answer. His throat closed up until it felt like he would either throw up or pass out from trying to get the answers out.

She let him go, weariness clinging to her wiry frame. Maybe she understood that he couldn’t stay. Despite her father’s miraculous revival, the last place she had wanted to be was at his bedside. She turned away, sweat sticking her blue hair against her cheeks.

He ran.

Raleigh was ashamed to admit that the first place he thought of was Chuck Hansen’s quarters. While Marshal Pentecost’s escape pod had popped from the breach like a celebrity cork, there were no such miracles for the Australian pilots.

Everyone knew down to the precise minute the Marshal would be rounding the corner to the loading bay. They knew that he would stop at the now empty space where Striker Eureka had once stood with the pretense of letting Max catch his breath just like how they knew it would be another long night for the veteran pilot, wandering the halls alone like a grim wraith.

But Raleigh did not care of what the older man thought or might think, only that Chuck’s room was empty and would be for a long while. He let himself in, locking the doors behind him just in case and froze.

He was not alone.

At his abrupt entrance, something stirred on top of Chuck’s bed, uncurling with feline laziness across the starched sheets.

Its shape reminded him of an orphaned fawn in a spotted coat, delicate in face with leafy-wide ears and liquid eyes. But the spindly legs did not end in hooves. Its tail was thicker and wider at the base, tapering into something half again its length.

The sound of his own laughter startled him badly.

It wasn’t impossible to think that the younger Hansen had a second pet. He remembered the Gage twins and their menagerie. But in a world where monsters were real and giant robots had been built to fight them, the animal was still incredibly exotic. Raleigh felt childish giddiness at the sight—a pet kangaroo!

But upon closer inspection, he saw why it had never been mentioned. It looked terrible. A step up from road kill. Most of its fur had been burnt off, creating a mosaic of welts and peeling skin. Without thinking, Raleigh reached out and touched the raised lines which read like circuit scars beneath his palms.

It let out a jarring cry, a half-whistle and half-groan as though there was a hole somewhere and air was leaking out. He jerked backwards, apology tripping his tongue.

“Hey there little guy.” He whispered, the mattress dipping under his weight. “You don’t look so good.”

The kangaroo shivered and curled up under its ratty tail. Blood and pus seeped from the open wounds, staining the dark grey sheets.

Raleigh felt sick. What kind of a _monster_ would leave an animal in this state? To die with only potted plants as company.

He offered it water which it refused out of spite.

“Okay.” He said, unwilling to give up the fight. He soaked a small towel in water. “C’mon, work with me.” Hands dripping, he held it against the kangaroo’s mouth until the jaws hinged open, its tongue flat and shrunken between its teeth.

It smelled foul as though it was already dead instead of well on its way. But Raleigh squeezed out drops of water in its throat until there was none left.

“See?” He asked. “That wasn’t so bad was it?”

It gave him a stink eye, too tired to do much else.

Raleigh felt helpless, not knowing what to do. Chuck’s pet was none of his concern. Maybe Herc had already gotten it all the help he could and the only thing left to do was to sit and wait. It was funny how after all the deaths, the fate of an animal weighed so heavily on his mind.

He didn’t dare touch it again. He didn’t want to hurt it any more than he already had. But he wanted to do something for it. Assurance, comfort, something.

Clock was ticking.

Reluctantly, he got up.

“I’ll be back, okay boy?” He promised.

Taking one last look around the room, he fled.

 

He tried to put it out of his mind.

Despite his promises to the contrary, Raleigh tried to stay away. His eyes would slip to the clock at the most inopportune times only to disappoint him in how little time had passed. The kangaroo was not his responsibility yet he found himself returning to Chuck’s room like clockwork, five minutes, ten minutes, an entire hour, his heart pounding every time he laid his hands on the doorknob. Fearful that the kangaroo was dead and he would have no idea if it had died from the want of care or something else.

But the kangaroo was a fighter and he saw fire light its eyes brighter and brighter, one day to the next. Before he knew it, he saw tufts of hair steal over its spine, between the ropes of scars. Its face, no longer sunken, offered him a myriad of expressions to interpret.

To his joy, it now drank readily from his hands, sucking at the tips like it would a nipple. Its tongue rasped pleasantly against the nail bed and the whorls of his thumb, diffusing him with warmth that had him smiling in helplessness.

Raleigh still had no idea what the kangaroo ate. It turned its nose up at the greens and salad in its food bowl and let out a soft growl on the occasions he tried to insist that it eat.

By chance, he had a bar of chocolate on him because he’d missed breakfast. The kangaroo sniffed it out quick enough and in a blink of an eye, swiftly divested it of the wrapping and had bitten a good chunk out of it.

“Oh shit!” Raleigh squeaked, grabbing the kangaroo around its middle. It struggled, its body soft and yielding like clay yet to harden. He grabbed its muzzle, wiggling a finger between its cheeks to pry the jaws open.

It snapped at his hands and it actually hurt a little, chocolate smears all over the back of its knuckles as it swallowed everything down. Pleased, it opened its mouth and rolled out its tongue, licking the back of his hands like it couldn’t get enough of it. “Sonuva...” He swore, shifting the kangaroo to another hand.

Raleigh had a sense, the kangaroo was laughing at him. It was shaking, not like it was in pain but unable to stop nonetheless.

It took him a while to realize that it was in fact purring.

 

He thought about confronting Herc. The man seemed a little better these days though grief still pinched at his features.

But then he would have to explain how he knew and above all else, more than why he had gone into Chuck’s room in the first place, he wanted to keep the little kangaroo to himself. His little secret.

“Well” He said after checking between its legs for dubious parts. “Congrats. You’re a girl.”

The kangaroo quickly shook him off, bleating in offence as it gummed at his throat. It tickled and Raleigh grinned as he pinned it with one arm. He could barely recognize it from the half-dead thing he found in Chuck’s room more than a week ago. It honked in anger, its legs too weak to deliver the kicks he’d seen on TV.

He petted it between its floppy ears.

“Don’t worry.” He told it, staring solemnly into its berry-black eyes. “I’ll take care of you.”

 

“So” Tendo said, dropping into a seat beside him. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Huh, what?”

The LOCCENT officer gestured to his neck. Raleigh immediately slapped a hand on the sore spot, “That little sh—“

Tendo raised an eyebrow.

“So it’s a guy—hey, I don’t judge. Who’s the lucky boy?”

“No _one_.” Raleigh hissed, lowering his voice in case someone overheard. “It’s not what you think Tendo. It’s just that...”

“He still in the closet then?” Tendo asked through a mouthful of eggs. He looked like a chipmunk. “Do I know him?”

Raleigh buried his face in his hand.

“This is not happening.”

 

The kangaroo chirped in welcome when he entered the room.

“Hey” He yawned, feeling tired despite twelve hours of sleep. Mako suggested he see a doctor but he didn’t think it was anything to fuss over. He knew that the real reason was that he wanted to avoid the marshal as much as she did. Neither of them voiced the thought aloud. “How was your day?”

He imagined that if the kangaroo could talk, it would have been something like— _good, the water bowl’s empty again, I don’t like the food, I’m bored, where were you, I’m happy you’re back_.

His lips quirked into a smile.

“I should give you a name.” He said idly.

It snorted and pushed off with its tail, looking ridiculous as it waved its feet in the air.

“Roo? No Tigger?” He laughed. “Sorry, alright, fine.”

He took out a tupperware from his bag and set it on the bed. “Figured you might want to try something else for a change.”

It was eggs, ham and toast, requisition food but a lot more appealing than pureed spinach.

The kangaroo stretched out its neck, pressing its nose against hip in thanks before digging in.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

 _I won’t_.

 

Mako was vicious as she parried his blow. She didn’t hold back. This fight was not about compatibility.

After Knifehead, his right arm was crippled. It took three months of physical therapy before he could lift it to a chest level, two more until he could hold a cup. Even now it gave him trouble if he used it too long and he was definitely cutting it close, a weakness Mako exploited often. She slid to her knee to hook her bo in his right armpit when he instinctively raised his arm and brought the bo down next to her ear.

She stared up in shock. He should not have been able to move like that.

“Are you alright?” She demanded, pushing him out of the ring.

Mako had been in his head. She knew there was no way he could have raised his arm that far without severing his shoulder.

“I…” He stammered, unable to believe it himself. There was no pain. “I’m fine.”

Unconvinced, Mako hauled him down to the medical where she had a doctor check him over. He told him to raise his arms and rotate and again when there was nothing wrong with his movements, clean and smooth as though the circuit scars hadn’t severed the nerve endings and muscle. The doctor puttered around, all but telling them he had more important things to do than treat a psychosomatic wound. He sniffed disdainfully at the file in hand. “Obviously, this will need to be updated. There is no way your shoulder could allow this range of movement.”

“You’re telling me.” He said thickly. “All this time, it was in my head?”

Sensing the need for tact, the doctor scowled and said “maybe your files were switched with someone else.”

“I went through physical therapy.”

“There are cases when the mind retreats to protect itself.”

The other man shrugged.

“This is not my field of expertise but you should count yourself lucky. Some people never come back.”

 

The kangaroo stared reproachfully when he finally returned, days later; head no clearer for drinking in the sea-stained air. It sniffed at him curiously, on his neck, under arms, nibbled on his jacket like he could taste the grease and the stale smoke. It let out a squeak when Raleigh fell sideways into the mattress, staring at nothing in particular as he traced geometric shapes into the kangaroo’s flanks.

“It wasn’t just my imagination.” He breathed, “The pain was real. Yancy died and my arm...”

A damp nose pressed against his palms. He calmed.

“I wasn’t imagining it.”

The kangaroo sighed as though saying _I know_.

“You believe me right?”

_Yes_

He hummed, lulled into exhaustion.

A moment later, the kangaroo joined him, feet pushing against his stomach as it made itself comfortable on top.

“Hey...” He protested.

_Stay_

Grumbling, he replied “Okay, maybe for a little while.”

 

Raleigh dreamed of orange sands. It was strange. As a rule, he didn’t dream anymore. A feature of the drift—it burned out the parts of his brain that allowed the luxury. It took him a while to recognize he was in one. Longer to notice the tornado following him had a pair of feet, hands, eyes and a generous mouth.

“I can’t hear you!” He yelled when they parted their lips. “I don’t understand!”

 

He could have set a watch by the naps he took, cuddling the kangaroo like a plushy toy. When the world rebuilt itself from ground up, Raleigh took solace within the four closed walls.

His time was limited. By summer, the bone-weariness of the Kaiju War had faded. Marshal Pentecost’s star was rising once more. The affected limp would never leave him but for a man who’d survived a nuclear explosion and a brain tumor, both at the same time, he looked like the picture of health.

But around the same time, Marshal Hansen landed in medical because he fainted in the middle of a PPDC meeting. He’d fought and snarled and fought, but overnight observation revealed what the senior pilot had been hiding for so long. Brain tumor, ulcers, myriad of symptoms that did not make sense. The man stewed in silence as doctors poked at him. Raleigh happened to turn his head and saw guilt flitter across Pentecost’s face.

Marshal Hansen made the decision to retire. Hong Kong only needed one anyway.

But that meant that Marshal Hansen would return to Australia with the little kangaroo that had become his friend.

“I’m going to miss you little guy. You gonna miss me too?”

The kangaroo squinted at him judgmentally.

Raleigh laughed.

 

He woke to a pounding in his head. Actually, it was just the door.

He’d fallen asleep.

“Becket! Open this door!”

Gently, he pushed the kangaroo off from where it was taking a nap on his chest.

On the other side of the door, he saw Mako and Herc, former looking worried. The latter like he’d swallowed something foul. He quickly unlatched the bolts and was about to explain when a fist crashed into the side of his face.

“ _Fuck_!”

He didn’t know who yelled. It might have been him. It might have been Herc.

The Australian pilot refrained from doing more damage as Mako leaped to his side, hissing when she saw blood and spit dribbling down from the side of his mouth.

“What... what the fuck…”He slurred, rolling his eyes towards the bed where Herc was pawing frantically at the sheets with his one good arm. Frustrated, the other man threw his sling off.

Raleigh tracked the scrap of cloth as it arced through the air and landed on a chair.

“Chuck?”

He snapped his head back.

Herc wasn’t there anymore. Instead, a large kangaroo sat on its tail, maybe ten times the size of the one on Chuck’s bed.

Raleigh fainted.

 

He came to a minute later when something bit his finger hard.

It was the little kangaroo. And, because he wasn’t hallucinating, the big kangaroo right behind him like he was about to knock Raleigh’s head off if he even breathed the wrong way.

“What’s going on?” He croaked even as the little kangaroo licked his hand in apology. A warm feeling diffused throughout his skin. The bleeding stopped though it felt a little itchy. The little kangaroo nuzzled his palm before subsiding. It laid there patiently on his stomach as he stroked its neck.

“Raleigh” Mako said softly. “Stop.”

“Why?” He asked, sliding down to his side because it felt better. Much better. Comfortable. He had no idea concrete floors were so comfortable. His vision went a little fuzzy until the big kangaroo hauled away the joey by its tail. The little one let out a squawk as it was stuffed down its father’s pouch. The big kangaroo let out a mock-growl when it saw him looking and he quickly averted his eyes, feeling queasy and faint.

“What the hell happened?”

 

“It is a curse. Something that they are born with. If they are born at all.”

“Mako, you’re not making any sense.”

The explanation came fast. Details were for later, for when they were safe. Safe from what? Raleigh asked but Mako ignored him, her steps snappy as she strode up multiple floors, frowning down at them when they failed to keep up.

“Mako!”

Raleigh didn’t know how she did it, but somehow Mako managed to smuggle him and a giant kangaroo into the marshal’s office.

Max woofed in glee when he saw them, dancing at Herc’s feet like he hadn’t seen him just an hour ago. He kept pawing at the pouch, too short to stick his head inside but eager to sniff the precious bundle carried within. Herc pushed him away, hopping sideways to lay on the couch like a broody hen.

“They don’t have names for what they are.” Mako said hurriedly. “But they can sense things like illness and pain. They know when earthquakes happen. They know when people die.”

He swallowed.

“I don’t understand.”

She nodded. “It is alright. I do not either. I only know what Hansen-san and Chasu-kun have told me.”

Raleigh felt hysteria bubble at his throat.

“So you knew.” He said. “You knew that they could turn into...” He waved a hand in Herc’s general direction. Herc snapped his teeth.

“Yes” Mako answered reluctantly. “Certain facts have been revealed to me.”

“So if that’s Herc” He started, “I’m not saying that I believe it...” Mako quirked an eyebrow as though he was being silly for not believing when he saw Herc shift from into his marginally less scary, human form. “Who is” His voice became hushed, taking on an almost reverent tone. Herc’s ears flattened.

She blinked.

“Chasu-kun of course.”

 

“Think of us as sponges.” Herc drawled when he’d finally been coaxed from eating eucalyptus or whatever kangaroos ate to pass time. “We suck up shite like pollution and the blue and hope that it sticks. Our penance for destroying the land.”

“And the kangaroo part.”

“Jesus, lay off will you?” the older man growled, running his hand through his son’s fur.

Raleigh ducked his chagrined. His obsession did seem a little silly.

“Anyway,” He said, clearing his throat. “Long story short, my stupid son is an example of what happens when you take in too much at once. It’s a failsafe as far as we can figure, in case of emergencies.”

Chuck warbled when the steady strokes stopped. He looked good. His fur had taken on the glossy sheen of a shampoo commercial. But Herc, Herc looked exhausted. Without a sling, his bad arm was clamped to his side. He looked less like a protective father and more like an escapee from the ICU. There was a grey cast to his skin that Raleigh didn’t like. It was as though the man had been piloting alone all through the night without a single backup in sight.

It all looked wrong. Herc, Chuck, Mako and him, there was something wrong. Something that they weren’t telling him. His heart welled up with foreign grief. He didn’t know where it was all coming from. But he did know who it was for. Chuck, who until the past day, had been far from his mind. Chuck, who at the age of 21, had given his life in the line of service so millions of others could live. Chuck, who was for all intents and purposes, living and breathing in front of him. Inexplicable, damaged, broken but still there.

Raleigh did not understand.

“What happened to him?”

Herc turned his eyes on him.

“I think the question is, what happened to you.”

“I... excuse me?”

The older man shook his head.

“You did something. Our ability Becket, is a matter of intent. It keeps us from burning out but it’s hell of an inconvenience when people come after us knowing what we are.” Herc looked at him in the eye. “Your arm. It’s better now. Chuck’s alive. Which means my son’s been working at it for a while.”

Chuck preened in Herc’s arms.

Beside him, Mako trembled like a thin leaf. She clenched her fists until all the blood drained from her knuckles. If Herc noticed, he ignored it and instead reduced his hand to a finger, scraping his nail lightly against the base of Chuck’s right ear.

“I didn’t...” Raleigh stammered.

“I know.” Herc softened. A fraction. “But I need to know what you said to my son.”

“I didn’t know it was Chuck.” He answered haltingly. “I... I just told him I’d take care of him.”

Herc looked at him consideringly.

“A lot of good people died after Sydney.” And Raleigh started at this non sequitur. “We had no idea—we tried to fix it; me, Scott, the others. We didn’t know there would be more of those _things_ out there. The land _bled_ when that thing died on top of it. It was all we could do to stop from trying to clean it all up. Some of us didn’t even shift, we dropped dead on the ground, fell into rivers, into ponds, in the sea, wherever the blue spread.

“We depend on the land to survive. If we can’t hold it in, we give back just a little. Just enough that it doesn’t kill us. But it wasn’t just the land that was affected, it was people.” There was a pause. “People are difficult”.

Hong Kong was a desolate place, Herc continued. Paved with concrete and steel and human waste. Not an inch of it was open to the air. There were places that haven’t drank rain water in over a hundred years. It was a terrible place for his kind, their kind. There was no place to rest, nothing to heal even though instincts tugged at them to go knee deep in the polluted waters of the harbor, cleanse it in a way they were born to do. But it was too much and when Herc’s arm snapped during Leatherback’s attack, there was no way to fix it, no blade of grass, a cat or a bug to relieve some of the pain. He’d sent Chuck down there alone knowing that his son would die.

But he did not.

“There was no second escape pod.”

“No there wasn’t.” Herc answered evenly.

“Then how...”

“Stacks...” there was a slight clench of the jaws. Mako let out a small noise of distress. “Pentecost brought him back.”

Something clicked in his mind.

“You got rid of it. The cancer—“

The other man’s eyes were cool.

“But the doctors told him...”

“...what do doctors know Becket? What do any of us know? I knew that Chuck would die. But I wanted to give him a chance.” Fire built up in the older man’s eyes. “And Pentecost betrayed my trust. He tried to...”

“No!” Mako burst out, “he would not!” startling Chuck who instinctively pressed against Herc’s thighs. Herc choked, whatever color that remained draining from his skin like a bathtub drain. In response, Chuck wilted. His ocean-black eyes closing. Raleigh lunged for Chuck, tore him from his father’s side even as Herc snarled, his feet barely supporting him as he stood up.

“Give him back.”

“ _No_ ” Raleigh said resolutely, hugging Chuck closer to himself. The kangaroo let out a small squeak but otherwise seemed unconcerned by the change in his guardians. He sniffed his arm a little, chewing on the threads before stretching out his neck towards Herc. Something seemed to pass between them, the man and his son. Herc’s hand came up as though itching to touch. But he didn’t. He dropped back down on the couch.

“Becket,” the man sighed. “When you told him you would take care of him, it didn’t mean anything.”

Raleigh bristled defensively. Before he could speak, Herc explained “But there was intent. You meant your words and now the curse has you too.”

“I told you, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” He stammered. “I... I feel fine.”

“You are for now.” Herc conceded. “But it will pile up. You’ll be tired until he’s whole again. And by that time, you couldn’t leave him even if you wanted to.”

Raleigh gaped.

“What kind of a curse is that?”

“A cursed one.” Herc sniped. “Choose son, walk away.”

But the Raleigh felt the warmth of a body contained in his arms. Chuck looked at him, neither hostile nor judgmental. He seemed accepting almost, to whatever decision Raleigh might or might not make. Purring, he flailed his limbs to get back on the floor. Raleigh just hugged him tighter until he could feel his heart, beat against his fist.

 

“No”

 

“I mean, I’ll do it. Whatever it is. Until he gets better.”

Herc searched his face.

“Are you sure? You have to be sure. I won’t judge you mate if refuse. But you could do more harm in the long run, both to yourself and my boy.”

He took a breath.

“I’m sure.”

 

“Raleigh, are you sure?”

It wasn’t the first time he’d been asked that question and Raleigh felt it wouldn’t be the last.

Chuck was colicky today and Raleigh was trying to burp him like a baby without pounding his back too hard or too soft that the joey became ticklish and kicked. It was a fine balance treating him like a pet and a fellow human being but he managed, somehow.

It had helped that he’d been taken off other duties including cleaning and training new recruits. After the closure of the Anchorage Shatterdome, Hong Kong received an influx of half-trained boys and girls who were eager to fight monsters that were no longer there. He had plenty of time to get used to Chuck and his idiosyncrasies.

Despite his current appearance, Chuck was hardly a cuddly bear he could carry around all the time. The best way, Herc mentioned, stamping his approval on every piece of paper he could get his hand on instead of reading them. Was to lock Chuck inside his pouch and throw away the key. But with him crippled and no earth to leech from, Raleigh had to do. Raleigh had promised. There were certain promises he had to keep.

He answered “It’s the right thing to do.”

Mako looked uncertain so he added, “It’s fine Mako, I’ll be alright.”

“It wasn’t...” The Japanese pilot said suddenly. “Sensei did not mean to do it.”

Raleigh raised an eyebrow.

“Mako, what are you talking about?”

There had been a lot of those questions thrown around lately too.

Mako licked her lips.

“Hansen-san implied that sensei intended to harm Chasu-kun. He did not.”

Chuck perked up at his name, inching forward, not quite touching Mako but close enough that they could share each other’s warmth. For a moment, Mako seemed tempted to reach down and brush her knuckles against the silky peaks and the slight Mohawk from Max’s slobber. She resisted admirably.

“He did not know this.”

“Mako”

“He would not have brought him injury if he had known.”

“Mako”

“Raleigh”

The moment was broken when Chuck laid his head in his lap, eyes drooping sleepily.

“I just know I have to help him get better.” Raleigh shrugged. “That’s all I really know.”

Mako nodded.

“Alright. Thank you Raleigh.”

 

Chuck managed to hop around, stumbling more often than not. But every second Herc could spare to drop down for a visit, he seemed elated by the sight, genuinely happy as he’d never seen the other man. But of course, his son had survived. They’d both survive the bloody war they were supposed to have died in.

Raleigh basked in the glory of success, cuddled Chuck whenever he fell flat on his face and hurt himself. It was easier now that Chuck understood, to an extent, Raleigh was there to stay. The joey sought him out more often, outside his frequent naps. He’d try to rope him into his roughhousing with Max and sat quietly in his arms whenever they watched TV.

Every once in a while, Chuck would open his mouth as though trying to talk though no real words came out. They sat together in companionable silence. For a curse, it wasn’t half bad.

 

The nightmares began without warning. Before, Chuck had simply been too tired for them to manifest. Too animalistic in his mind for it to fall prey to complex thoughts. His entire world had been, eat, play, sleep, bother Max, bother Raleigh, chew on Herc’s shoelaces. Raleigh didn’t know what to do.

After being woken up for the umpteenth time that night, Raleigh realized the feverish itch to get outside, to see the sky, maybe feel the wind and the salty spray.

“Hey” he said, shaking Chuck away from his twitchy sleep. “C’mon, I want to show you something.”

He put Chuck inside his sweater and threw on a hoodie. Chuck wiggled indignantly against his stomach and he got more than his share of weird looks from the ground crew when he suddenly burst out laughing out of nowhere.

Outside was chilly and it was refreshing. Chuck poked his head out and sniffed, disliking the drop in temperature. But Raleigh just unzipped his hoodie more, allowing the cold air to flow over them both.

“You see that?” He asked the ranger-turned-kangaroo. He pointed towards the city and its bright lights, waiting until Chuck looked. “You see all that?” He said again, turning to the ships out at sea, small fishing boats venturing out for the first time in years. Chuck snuck a paw out as though to snatch at the paper lanterns swaying in the wind. “You did that Chuck. This was you. You saved the world.”

 

“You’re good for him.” Herc announced and Raleigh figured that was the highest praise he could receive from the older man. He rocked back pleased as Chuck reared up on his hind legs, hugging him around his waist.

“I’ve been meaning to ask.” Raleigh said.

“Shoot.”

“Why is Chuck so small?”

Offended, Chuck let out a growling sound and let go immediately.

Herc snorted in amusement, gently pushing his son aside when he attacked his shoe with vengeance.

“Just because we look alike doesn’t mean we’re the same species. And he’s younger. It makes sense he’s a little smaller.” He knelt down and Raleigh froze.

“Sir”

Chuck looked up at him, ears pointed. Though he’d recovered from having a foot in his grave, his health was still a work in progress. Raleigh had half a mind to grab him again and keep him out of sight. Tendo had accused him of having a girl on the side and he supposed that the LOCCENT officer was half right. Chuck certainly took up enough of his time to qualify as one.

“Stand down Becket, it’s fine.” His eyes were crinkled as he smiled at his son. “Time to go home.”

 

Raleigh supposed that he should stop being surprised after being smuggled out of the country on a charter plane.

The older man tried to dissuade him. They all did, Mako, Tendo, and even Pentecost who winced with regrets when faced with Herc’s brand of cold fury. And all the while Raleigh wanted to ask, did you do it, did you try to kill Chuck? Because that’s what it was when it came down to it. Pentecost would have known what Chuck was through the drift, what he could do, fix cancer and radiation poisoning.

“Truth is” Herc said on their last night in Hong Kong. He couldn’t begrudge the shatterdome a farewell party. Might as well get it over with—had been the exact words he’d used. In the end, they’d slipped out back to share a bottle of Johnny Walker. “He knew. Stacks knew what we were before the drift, probably.”

Herc took a pull of the bottle before handing it to Raleigh.

“My arm was broken, snapped clean in half. I couldn’t go down. I couldn’t jockey anymore but I could give them a fighting chance. I took it out enough of it. Incentive enough that they’d both come back alive.”

The whisky burned as it went down. His eyes teared. He hadn’t expected that.

“When we found them, I thought Chuck was dead.” Herc coughed, and reached for the bottle again. “He should have been dead. You thought it was bad finding him in his room. When I took him from his hands, he wasn’t even breathing.”

The wind blew warm across the harbor.

“We were friends he and I. But I won’t forgive him for this.” His lips press into a flat line. “I can’t.”

 

“Thank you for your service.” Pentecost said.

Raleigh nodded.

Mako stepped forward. When she didn’t say anything, he told her “we’re still friends Mako.”

“Yes” she said haltingly, her eyes exploring something past his shoulder before being cast down. “You will call?” She bit her lips. “Keep in contact?”

“Always.” He promised her.

She let out a sigh.

“Take care Raleigh.”

 

Both Hansens sighed in relief when they touched the ground, their eyes sleepy and peaceful like they were finally home.

And while he and Scott loaded up a beat up minivan that looked like something pawned off by a soccer mom, Herc shrugged off his shirt and sling in the middle of the parking lot. Appreciative whistles and catcalls aside, the older man ducked down and kissed the asphalt like it was two-hundred degrees.

Chuck tumbled to the ground, giddy and drunk on slight and the ocean breeze as he barreled into Herc’s embrace. A quick nuzzle on the cheeks and all he could see of Chuck was his lashing tail as he dove face first into Herc’s pouch.

Scott cursed— _we are in public_! As he fought Max on his leash. Chuck poked his nose out, terrifyingly adorable, rubbing the back of his head wildly against his father’s dense belly fur. Scott rolled his eyes and pulled them all, even Raleigh, into a hug.

 

They took to sleeping in the sun.

It helped. His fur grew into a rich, even color that reminded him of fox cubs in spring. He put on real weight, fat and muscle, no longer so scrawny. It became a struggle to push him off or convince him to let go. Chuck was still a ranger at heart and employed cheap tactics whenever he could. Especially when he was calling to catch up with others at the Hong Kong Shatterdome.

The heroes of the breach were still popular on news. Raleigh saw them twenty-four seven on cable networks. But there was something reassuring about hearing the other person’s voice, thousands of miles away. Chuck butted his calves grumpily when the conversations stretched on to cover Tendo’s latest conquest and breakthroughs in legislature regarding jaegers.

He’d chewed the phone cord in half after the fifteen minute mark.

When he sought the other Hansen for help, the older man laughed in his face before telling him that he would be bringing back a guest later.

Raleigh wasn’t sure how to interpret that statement. But Chuck hadn’t look too disturbed. Maybe it was a friend? Family? Raleigh stretched out across the couch, upsetting Chuck who let out a discordant rumble in his chest. Chuckling, he patted the ex-pilot’s head. Or were they both retired now that the jaegers were gone, sunk deep beneath the ocean floor?

As though sensing his thoughts, Chuck licked him on the lips once. He tasted like mint.

Raleigh frowned.

“You know you’re not supposed to eat that stuff.”

Silence as Chuck grunted and rolled over, resting his head on his sternum.

Life in Sydney was kind and lazy. The change in seasons was strange. Lack of proper winter was hard. But it was nice how he didn’t have to worry where the next meal was coming from, how much of it there was and if it was edible.

“You’re okay.” Raleigh soothed, more out of habit than anything else.

Chuck stared at him with one eye, grey and fathomless as the breach. He huffed, blowing sweet smelling breath across his face as though to tell him, _of course I am. What else would I be?_

“I’m glad.” He blurted out. “I’m glad you’re okay even though you were kind of an asshole when we first met. It would have sucked if you died. You don’t even really need me anymore do you? You’re home again. You have hair. Well more hair. I kinda wish I knew you before. Better. Because you seem like an interesting person. Even without the kangaroo thing.”

He sighed. “I’m saying” he didn’t know what he was saying. Raleigh settled for something else entirely. “You’re much likeable when you can’t talk.”

A sharp nip to his ear that wasn’t all animal teeth. His eyes bulged when the weight on his stomach quadrupled, expanded and straddled his middle.

Officially, Chuck Hansen was dead. His photo carried on every newspaper and magazine. The real thing was about fifty pounds lighter, bones standing out in sharp relief against his skin. But sunlight caught his eyes, the steely grey coming through gold blinds. Chuck looked wonderful and best of all, _alive_.

“Holy...”

Raleigh began to laugh.

“What’s that about my mouth?” Chuck rasped in a voice that hadn’t been used in a while. His fist glanced harmlessly off his shoulder when Raleigh couldn’t stop, pulling him down and curling up around him because it was warm, everything was so bright.

Chuck screwed up his face when he saw the red lines crisscrossing his arm, rubbing them like they were chalk marks to be washed off. Raleigh cupped his head, thumb stroking the skin behind his ear as their heartbeat slowed and thudded in time with each other’s.

“Thanks” Chuck said grudgingly after a while. Not bothering to detach himself from Raleigh’s side even though he was kind of naked. “You didn’t have to.”

It tingled where they touched. He was about ninety-nine percent sure that wasn’t normal but couldn’t bring himself to care. When the bruises under Chuck’s eyes faded, the doubts in his mind cleared.

“No problem.” He said. “But I did mean it, about you.”

The younger man raised an eyebrow.

“Really.” He said.

“You’re shit out of luck mate.” Chuck shrugged. “Never knew when to keep my mouth shut.” He added mulishly. “I already said thank you.”

“Normally, heroes get the girl or at least a thank you kiss.” Raleigh pointed out.

“I think we established that I’m not a girl.” Chuck replied, grabbing himself. Immediately, realizing what he’d done, he flushed evenly to the roots of his hair and down and down and down.

Raleigh reached out and placed a hand over the other pilot. He gave the other pilot a small peck on his lips.

“There” He said. “That wasn’t too bad was it?”

With an aggressive growl, Chuck pounced. Raleigh let him. It was only fair.

His thank you kiss was infinitely much better than the one he stole. Or as Chuck smugly pointed out—“How do you like my mouth now?”

“I don’t know.” He said hushed. Raleigh quickly dodged the punch that followed. “I think you need to do it one more time to che—.”

Words got crushed between their lips.

Again, again and again.

They pulled apart. Raleigh said breathlessly,

“Welcome back.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Nerdyspock's](nerdyspock.tumblr.com) gifsets on Tumblr. 
> 
> Check them out :D
> 
> ***See also, exercise in madness.  
> Edition: what the hell am I doing.  
> Co-written by way too many subway rides and me staring at how the character count goes down at the end of notes. Wow. The title was inspired.  
> (But seriously, how and why did I write this?)


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